Support

No, people, I am NOT talking about bras here.  I'm talking about people.

This weekend, CU Opera put on Carousel by Rogers and Hammerstein. I was in the chorus for the show, and had a very small solo in the second act, but was on stage for a pretty decent amount of time.

The show was great.  The cast was amazing.  I had a really good time (most of the time).  Those things aren't really a big deal to me right now, though.  The most amazing part of it for me was the fact that it reinforced something that I already knew:  I have an amazing support group.

My parents drove all the way to CO from ND to see me perform my 3-bar solo, stayed for a day, and drove the 15 hours back.  Friends and bosses and parents of friends and all sorts of other people came to see the show for my benefit, and they did it willingly.  And excitedly.  And I know there are even more people who wanted to come, but couldn't.

And of course, everyone gave very good feedback about the whole show.  And my "aria" (as my voice teacher called it).  I got an email from someone I hardly know that said that my hip-shaking shook the whole theatre, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a comment about my weight.  haha.  Just kidding, I know it wasn't. 

It's just really helpful to have people who are just as excited as me, if not more so, to see me doing something that I really enjoy.  It's a vote of confidence, and I like it.  

Thanks, supporters.  I appreciate you!

My sincerest apologies

Oh, I really do apologize for hardly writing at all.  Okay, for really not writing at all.  I'm a horrible person.  Okay, I'm not a horrible person.  I'm just a very, very busy person.

Thank you to all of you who are continuing to attempt to keep in touch with my life via this blog.  You're keeping up with your side of the blogging game.  I, however, and not keeping my end of the deal.  

I hope to change that, from now on out.  I will put time into my schedule to blog at least once a week for you all.  I know that that's substantially less than last year, but I'm going to do it.  Notice that I said, "At least once."  It's the best I can do. 

Okay, okay, enough of my grovelling.  

Now for one of those really boring, really annoying, all-encompassing updates on the life of Raissa.

About a month ago, I was offered and accepted a job as a section leader in a choir at a church here in Boulder.  I attend weekly rehearsals and church services and get paid to sing.  Which is what I want to do with my life, so it's perfect.  Not to mention that the choir is small, but pretty darn talented and that the director has amazing ambition and a great vision for the choir.  It's an adorable church and a really great space to sing in, and I'm glad that I have the opportunity to be working with these people. 

I was cast in the chorus of CU's fall opera production.  Okay, so this year it's not so much an opera as a musical theatre piece, but if we focus on the important thing here, which is that I was actually cast, then we're thinking about the most important thing.  Rogers and Hammerstein's Carousel will be performed in CU's Macky Auditiorium on October 22, 23, and 24.  Visit www.cupresents.org to purchase tickets.  If my parents can make it all the way from ND, you can make it from wherever you are.  I'm singing a very small solo, so cheer loudly!  

I'm still working at the Center of the American West.  Sewing purses.  Don't get me started on that topic, because I might freak out.  But if you must know, I'll send pictures once they're completed.

Kenny and I have officially scheduled our junior recital.  We'll be performing on Tuesday, April 12th, at 7:30 pm in Grusin Music Hall.  Put it on your calendar now.  I don't want you to miss it.  We'll be singing some stuff together, which is very exciting, because he's a bass and I'm a soprano.  Oh, and because we both rock.  

The new apartment is still great as ever.  If I had a camera, I'd send you pictures, but if you'll recall, I put that camera through the washing machine last year in March-ish.  Mom, don't worry, a digital camera will be on my Christmas list.  Along with some other stuff that I'm sure you'll start asking about soon.

Okay, as far as broad overviews go, those are the most important things.  Keep looking for more frequent updates.  And thanks again for continuing to read through my excessively long hiatuses. 

Confidence

When I was in junior high and high school, if you would have asked any of my friends or acquaintances to pick one word to describe me, I can almost guarantee you that one of the words that they wouldn't have picked would be "confident."  In the very least, I know that it wouldn't be one of the words that I would have used to describe myself.

That began to change in college, as I slowly came out of the woodwork. My freshman year, I was quiet and shy, especially around people who I didn't know.  As I joined more and more organizations and met more people, though, I slowly became more sure of myself.  By my senior year I was a member of many, many organizations, and within many of those I was elected by my peers into leadership positions where confidence was a must.  At that point in my life, I maybe would have called myself confident.  Or at least a little confident.

When I moved to Colorado, I took the attitude of "the new girl."  I'm not sure where I read about it, but the concept made perfect sense to me.  A lot of people are nervous, and therefore reserved when they are in new situations.  That would totally have been me if I wouldn't have made the conscious decision to do exactly the opposite.  As the new girl, I never said no to an invitation, unless I absolutely had to.  I did my best to put on a smiling face and to show a likable personality.  I didn't want to put out an air of being closed off or stuck-up.  Basically, I wanted to be liked.

I know how this will sound, but I don't mean it in an egotistical way.  My strategies worked.  It took little time for me to make a little group of friends.  If you'll recall, on our first night out, Kenny called me a "fag hag" because I had a big personality and appeared confident.  One of my friends is continually telling me about how he finds how "popular" I am to be amazing, considering how new that I am.  A guy who I hardly know came up to me one day and told me that he had been observing me and noticed that people "flock" to me when I'm hanging around.  However, the most obvious showing of my confidence happened last week, when I entered the world of a 20th century woman and asked a boy on a date!  It's been very exciting, and shocking, actually. 

While all of this has obviously been happening, I haven't really been aware of it.  Aside from my conscious efforts at making friends, I didn't know that I was gaining confidence.  It took people pointing it out to me for me to fully recognize it.  I still don't feel like I outwardly act different, but maybe I do...

In any case, the idea of me being confident was questioned during my auditions last week (the ones I told you about here).  A few days before the auditions, we had mock auditions in Opera Theatre class.  They were intended to be a leg-up for those taking the class (obviously, they didn't help me).  Following the mock audition, Dr. Holman sat each of us down for feedback.

Among the things that she told me that were very useful, things like wearing a dress in a solid color, using stage-ish make-up, and choosing heels, her words to me were along these lines: "I feel like your MO in life is to come into a room with what appears to be a lack of confidence, and then to the heck out of everyone with your voice."

Needless to say, with my newly-realized confidence, I was surprised at these comments.  I assured her that I wasn't aware of her perception of my level of confidence because I really wasn't confident in my early years, and that me being confident was something new to me and had changed recently.  I also told her that I feared coming off as overly-confident (and unwarrantedly so), but that I would work on it.

So, kids.  What do you think?  Am I confident enough?  Do I need to work on it?  What's the deal here?

Disappointment

Last fall, when CU was auditioning for chorus members for "La Traviata," I chose not to audition.  My name was on the audition list, I had a piece prepared to sing, and I had no doubt in my mind that I would be in the show.

Then I changed my mind.  At that point in my life, I had never once seen a live opera, and really wanted to see one before performing in one.  I crossed my name off the audition list, and never thought anything of it.

In the meantime, many of my newly-made friends auditioned and received chorus member parts.  Rehearsals were Mondays and Thursdays, and many of them would go out to eat in Boulder those nights, between school and rehearsal.  I took advantage of the invitation to go and went out with them, although I think I only actually ate with them once.  The rest of the time, I just enjoyed the company. It was a good time, and a good way for me to meet people, and it got me into the CU opera scene without being in the opera.  I didn't envy their weekly rehearsals or having to experience what is pleasantly termed "hell week."

What I did enjoy, though, was seeing my first ever opera.  I saw it on opening night with Jettie and Austin (read about Jettie's trip here and here), and adored every minute of it.  A lot of my enjoyment came from actually knowing the people on stage, but it really was an amazing show.  Having hung out with all of the opera kids allowed me to go to the cast party, and I met a lot of other people, and I never regretted not being in the opera chorus.  Not even for one minute.

Until this week.

Auditions were held for the two spring operas, "Don Giovanni," by Mozart and "Our Town," composed by Ned Rorem last Thursday. They ran auditions for the chorus of Don G. and principals and chorus of Our Town at the same time, and auditionees (?) just had to indicate for which roles they were auditioning.  I didn't prepare an aria from the show and didn't put any more effort into it than I have for any other audition since I've come to Boulder. 

I auditioned for all three possible roles.  To be honest, I simply assumed that I would get into at least the Don G. or Our Town chorus, although I knew I wouldn't obtain a lead in OT.  What I didn't know was that the chorus parts for both shows are relatively small.

I can say that I was very disappointed to see the cast list for Don G. without my name on it.  That was on Wednesday, and the list for OT was to come out on Thursday.  When that was posted and my name was also not on the list, I cried.  Literally.  Kenny tried to comfort me in many ways (mostly unsuccessfully), but here's what I've learned (in the short-term) from this experience.

• I can't rely only on my voice for forever.  I also need to rely on preparation and presentation. 
• I need to be prepared for competition.  And lots of it.  There are approximately 87 million sopranos (I made that up) in the world today, all vying for a small number of roles. I can't just expect to get one.  That's foolish.  And dumb.  And foolish.
• In that vein, I need to get used to this feeling of not getting roles.  It's going to happen a million times in my life.  It's part of what I've gotten myself into.
• Despite all of those things, I need to have confidence (you'll see a blog on that topic very soon).

In short, my plans for this semester have changed drastically, knowing that I won't be involved in any shows, which are more time-consuming than you can possibly imagine.  I can only hope that I will take what I've learned from this disappointment into the future...

But hopefully it doesn't always happen this way...

The Performance

I love live theatre.  One never really knows what exactly is going to happen, no matter how well-prepared things are before the performance.

For the performance of Hansel and Gretel, things did not go as they were supposed to go. In an ideal world, Hansel and Gretel would be dancing and playing instead of working.  Their mother would come home and see that they haven't finished their chores, and would punish them by hitting their fingers with a broom.  In the process, the milk jug containing their supper would fall onto the ground and smash, causing the mother to be angry to say the least.

In the real life performance of Hansel and Gretel last night, Hansel and Gretel were playing and knocked the milk jug onto the floor before I even came in.  Doesn't seem like a huge deal, except that it totally changes why I'm mad and my reaction and the words that I say...  Thank goodness that the stage manager told me before I went on that it had broken and I had time to figure out how to react and what to say.

That's the beauty of live performances: the ability to think on our feet is essential, and one may as well not even try to be in this business if they can't.  It makes performances interesting, fun, and unpredictable for everyone.

Overall, the whole show went very, very well.  We had a packed house: standing room only, people sitting in the aisles, etc., and everyone was very excited.  They laughed and yelled and whooped and whistled.  I personally had a good crowd there, and it was awesome to get feedback from everyone.  I'm still shocked at the level of talent here: I don't think I'll ever stop being impressed with people...

Can't wait to perform again...

Thanksgiving x2

Shockingly, I didn't write yesterday.  Or the day before.  Or the day before.  Don't worry, today will make up for it.

There were lots of questions about what Raissa should do for Thanksgiving.  After I decided to stay here, there were tons of options, but I had decided to spend it with Kenny.  When the Rudy's told me he couldn't come with us to Nancy's house, I was determined that he would not spend it alone.  After much deliberation, he decided to go home to Idaho Falls to visit his mom.

On Wednesday, Katie Ryan called to tell me that she and her Cowboy were headed to CO to surprise her parents for Thanksgiving.  She invited me to their house.  As much as I was looking forward to dinner with the Rudy's, it was more exciting to spend Thanksgiving with people who I know and am more comfortable with.

I ended up going to 2 Thanksgiving dinners.

I got up early (for me) this morning, and headed up to Windsor to hang out with Katie and her family.  We walked around the neighborhood, hung out at home, and ate a delicious traditional Thanksgiving meal.  I then had to rush back to Boulder for Thanksgiving meal #2 with the Rudy's. 

During the trek up to Nancy's house in the mountains, the Rudy's were explaining to me what each of the people who would be there do/did in their lives.  All of the people are rather well-to-do, and have all of the luxuries one could possibly want in life.  They all grew up in the city, and are socially prominent in Boulder.

Upon arriving at the mountainside house, we had the pleasure of helping to put out a fire.  Yes, a fire.  The centerpiece got a little too close to the candles, and the fire department called to make sure we were all alive.  We all mingled for a while, and I now know how international students feel when stupid Americans ask them questions about their own cultures.

To the guests at the party, being from a small town is like being from a different country, and some of the questions that they asked me offended me a little bit.  I understand that they just don't know what it's like to live in a small town, but they wanted to know how I survived in such a place, without seeing ballets and operas, and having to travel somewhere else to go clothes shopping.  I did my best to explain, and obviously I did survive, even thrived, coming from a small town, but was still a little miffed by the experience. 

Dinner was all made-from-scratch by an ex-opera singer.  We had butternut squash soup, rolls, parsnips and spinach, dressing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes made with celeriac, and a turkey (of course).  It was traditional with a twist.  And delicious.  Table conversation focused around the music school and my upcoming performance during the opera scenes program on Tuesday night.  (Stephanie invited 50 people and asked if it would be okay to throw roses onto the stage for me.)

All in all, the night was good, and memorable, and great.  But it's not the same as Thanksgiving with family.  And I didn't like some of the food, which would never happen at home.  Looking forward to Christmas meal.  Mom, get ready.  haha...

Dinner with the Rudys

In September, I had the opportunity to meet my scholarship sponsors, Alan and Stephanie Rudy.  I told you all about them here.  They are seriously wonderful people.  Since meeting them, they have spoiled me.

In October, they picked me up for a dinner at Laudisio, a really great Italian restaurant here in Boulder.  On Wednesday night, they treated me to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and a Metropolitan Opera Broadcast of Turandot (which was amazing).

In addition, they came to the University Choir Concert that I performed in, and plan on coming to our Opera Scenes program. (Shameless plug: If you aren't doing anything on the evening of Tuesday, December 1st, come up to Boulder for an opera scenes program featuring both graduate and undergraduate singers.  It's in the basement of the music building and is free).

They have invited me to their house for Thanksgiving and want to take me to more operas.  They rock.  In addition to helping me, they are both very, very active in the Boulder community and donate hours and hours and hours to community service projects.  I hope they keep me!  They are fantastic!

In other scholarship news, I was given an additional $6500 in scholarship for next semester.  It will allow me to stay in CO.  When I know more about it, I'll let you know!

The Jettie Journal: Days 2, 3, and 4 (Because we were so busy I didn't have time to write while she was here)

I got absolutely nothing accomplished this weekend, which actually ended up to be fine, because I planned on that happening.  And Jettie and I had tons of fun.  I kept saying to her, "Jettie, you would have to spend 6 weeks here in order for us to do all that we want to do."  But we crammed as much into 4 days as we possibly could. 

Friday began with some shopping at the UMC and a mini-tour of campus, followed by Jettie sitting in on my intro to music history class.  Jettie is a teacher, and the stupid kids in that class made her mad with their constant texting and game-playing.  She was actually more angry with the teacher, though, for letting the students get away with what they did.

Next, we headed to Longmont for a job interview, some shopping, and lunch and drinks at Chili's.  We headed home to cook dinner for my friends who are in the opera.  Giuseppe Verdi's "La Traviata" opened on Friday, and I planned a dinner for 6 or so of my friends who were involved in the show.  I cooked some Italian food, and everyone hung out until they were called.  Then, Austin, Jettie, and I headed over to the beautiful Macky auditorium for the show.  It was amazing.  I laughed, I cried, I got the goosebumps.

After the show, we headed downtown for drinks and snacks.  Lots of people around, having a great evening.  Jettie and I asked for shots of Crown Royal and Peach Schnapps, but they forgot the schnapps, and we were pretty tipsy.  We went to the bar and lost our buzz, which was pretty sad, then went home and went to bed.

Saturday morning, we got up early to head to the great city of Denver.  We were there by 11:00, and found a parking garage.  We decided to walk to Coors Field, but weren't sure of the location.  We saw a large building in the distance and decided to walk in that direction.  We got about a quarter of the way there, after walking about two miles (I'm not exaggerating), then realized it was actually Invesco Field.  Oops.  We turned around and headed back to town.  We walked the 16th Street Mall for hours, and ate a delicious dinner of nachos and pretzels at the Rock Bottom Brewery.  I drank a WHOLE beer.  By myself!  Yay! 

Me and my whole beer!

 We walked more and more, then took a nap in my car with the radio on.  The battery died while we were sleeping, and we had to have it jumped.  Thank goodness they had a jump box in the parking garage.  We walked some more, and had drinks at the Rialto Cafe.  A nice old man sat beside us at the bar, and paid for our drinks before he left.

We hit up "Wicked," which was amazing.  No complaints.  We had good seats, it was great entertainment, and I loved it.  We went back to the Rialto Cafe to visit out new favorite bartender, Lucas, (Sorry Jamo and James!) and to eat supper at 11:00 pm.  We were exhausted after having walked ALL day, so we went to bed.

Sunday morning, we woke up early enough to head to the Original Pancake House, a Boulder staple, for breakfast.  We then sent Jettie on her way.

It was an amazing weekend, and it was so fun reminiscing and being crazy (although we never got as crazy as I hoped and expected).  Friends are always welcome here! :)

Random happenings...

Still no time to write a real blog.  Instead, you get snippets of what's new and exciting in my life these days:

I offically have a work schedule for my work study job at the Center of the American West as a Student Assistant.  Basically, I do whatever they want me to do: ship stuff, copy, database, answer phones, etc.  Definitely not hard.  I can only work 6-7 hours a week because of my work study status, but that's fine.  It's decent money, so I like it.

I've officially been job searching for another part-time job for a couple of weeks now with no luck.  Six hours a week just isn't going to cut it.  Wish me luck.

Today was Honors Convocation.  I got 2 little certificates explaining my scholarships.  Yay for scholarships, but boo to the Convocation that took way longer than it was supposed to.

Tomorrow night, I'm singing in a talent show for my church.  By singing, I raise $100!  Yay!  Cody Guy Garrison, who went to school with me in Jamestown and now is going to dental school in Denver, is coming up to accompany and then we're going out for a few drinks.  Yay!

Katie Ryan is in CO visiting her parents, and I get to see her on Saturday!  Yay!

Jettie Wold, a friend from Medora, is coming down next weekend during ND Teacher's Convention.  Yay!!!

All of my friends are really busy this week, getting ready for the opera performances next week.  Kind of sad...

Oh!  My piano teacher told me on Monday that I should have tried to test into a higher class.  I looked at her like she was crazy because I've never had a piano lesson in my life.  It was exciting. 

I think that's all of the random information I can cram into one blog.  Keep checking back for a "Quote of the Day," probably something about the talent show and Katie visiting, and information on Studio Classes.

My musical autobiography

Ugh... So I really, really, really want to write a real blog about Thomas Hampson's concert and master class, but I'm getting sick.  Again.  So I'm going to go to bed instead.

In the meantime, here is "My Musical Autobiography."  I had to write it for a class, and I think it's a story worth sharing.  It made me really analyze my musical life.  At the end are my teacher's comments...

P.S.  It's really long.

Enjoy!!
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Although I began singing at a young age, music has only really been a large part of my life for the last four years or so. When I was four years old, my best friend’s mother began teaching me how to sing. She lived three houses down, so it was convenient, and I was a natural. I practiced every day with my sister and Dolly’s daughter, and before long, Dolly had a group of us young singers performing at bridal showers all around town, That’s where it all began.

To understand more about my musical experiences in elementary and high school, one must know that I come from a town with a population of around 700. There wasn’t much musical competition, and standards for music were low. Throughout elementary school, I was the student chosen to sing solos, perform lead roles in musical theatre, be in high school band in fifth grade, and sing in the high school choir in seventh grade. My music teacher gave me opportunities not given to most students my age. Following my eighth grade year, though, he left, and my high school was stuck floundering for a music teacher. From the time I entered my freshman year of high school to when I graduated, the program suffered terribly. We went one whole year without a high school music program. During that time, my musicianship suffered. I had no musical leader, and without guidance, I stopped improving, although I did my best to stay active in the music program.

Following my sophomore year, the elementary music teacher recommended me for a trip to Europe with the Northern Ambassadors of Music choir, a group of high school students from North Dakota and Eastern Montana who would travel to seven countries in fourteen days. I was ecstatic to be given the opportunity to go, and had a marvelous time there, but didn’t see myself having a career in music. For me, it was just a pastime.

Upon being accepted at Jamestown College, I quickly chose psychology as my major field of study. However, I planned to be active in the music program and auditioned for the Jamestown College Concert Choir, which was well-known in the state for its choral program. I was let in, one of only a handful of freshman women allowed to be part of the choir. The choir infused me with energy and refreshed my passion for music. I had never been part of a group of superior musicians, and to be given the opportunity to sing with others who had talent was a new experience that made me love to make music even more. I threw myself into musical theatre productions, women’s choir, pep band, and orchestra. In fact, I was so involved in the music program that relatives assumed that I was a music major and were often shocked when I explained to them that I was only performing for fun and that my plans were to go on to graduate school in psychology.

Following my sophomore year, the choir traveled to Italy for two weeks, performing in amazing spaces like St. Mark’s Basilica in Venice, the Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Paul’s in Rome. There is a surreal feeling that comes from singing in places that are older than the country that we live in, from singing music that has been sung there for hundreds of years. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

In my junior year, the college hired a new band instructor, and with him came his wife, Leanne Villareal, who was added as an adjunct faculty to give voice lessons to non-music majors. I jumped at the chance to take private lessons. Leanne helped me to find this voice inside of me that I didn’t even know that I had. My range soon increased into “the stratospheres,” as she would say. Leanne encouraged me to consider pursuing a career in music, but I wasn’t so sure. Her prodding caused me to have an identity crisis, and I suddenly wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue a life as a psychologist. Following a conversation with my psychology mentor, I decided to switch my major to music. After talking to music faculty, however, I learned that switching at the point where I was in my education wouldn’t be smart, and they encouraged me to finish out psychology, but to continue taking voice lessons.

The decision of whether or not to study music was filled with doubts and questions. After all, I would already have a four-year degree going into music school. What a waste of four years! I would already be in debt, and most likely would have to take out lots of loans to cover more schooling. Even if I excelled at music, there was a huge chance that I wouldn’t be hired to perform following graduation. That’s when God stepped in.

In the spring of my senior year, Patrick Mason traveled to North Dakota to perform a concert at Jamestown College. The following day I was one of those who was fortunate enough to have a voice lesson with him. The lesson itself doesn’t stand out in my mind, but Professor Mason’s reaction to my singing does. At one point he asked me, “Will you be coming to CU – Boulder to do your graduate studies?” I laughed and said, “I’m a psychology major, so probably not.” His reaction was surprise, and Leanne just shook her head in agreement. Later that day, I ran into one of the music faculty, who took me aside and said something along the lines of, “Pat was really impressed with you today. He said that you have one of the most amazing voices he has heard in a long time.”

I was shocked. I am a talented singer, I always have been, but I did not expect to hear that from someone who has only heard me sing once. I left the music building in tears. I felt a huge sense of relief wash over me. I wasn’t ever really sure that it was a good idea to pursue music, even though I was talented. I always thought that maybe I was just good by North Dakota standards. What would happen if I went to school to study music? I’d never taken a music class, the competition at schools is fierce, and I was never really sure that I’d be able to keep up. Professor Mason’s statements boosted my confidence like nothing ever had before, and I realized that I had made the right decision to attend school for music following graduation.

By the time I had made my decision, the deadline to apply at all schools had passed. I had a year of freedom, and time to focus exclusively on the audition process. In the year’s time between when I graduated from Jamestown College and coming to Boulder, I worked two jobs, auditioned, and traveled a bit.

I came to Boulder on August 16th, and things didn’t go well to start off with. I was very seriously questioning my decision to come here. One of my loans hadn’t come through, and I couldn’t afford to be living here. I had heard some other people singing, and didn’t think that I was good enough in comparison. I was concerned about what would happen upon graduating with a degree in vocal performance. Nonetheless, I convinced myself to attend my studio placement audition, just to see, and then leave. I started packing my things.

The morning that I sang for the voice department, I was nervous. I had chosen to sing Schubert’s “Gretchen am Spinnrade,” and when I started to sing it, I wasn’t prepared for the reactions of those watching me. They began to sit up in their seats and look around at one another and nod. I could feel the energy in the room, and could tell from the expressions on people’s faces that they were impressed. The second I walked out the door, tears came to my eyes, and I called my mom and said, “Mom, I cannot leave. I am meant to be in Boulder.

Since I have arrived, I have had nothing but amazing support from my friends and family at home, and the faculty and students here. I do not go through a single day without questioning my decision to come here, because the music business is so difficult to really get into and make a steady income from, and I will have a lot of loans to pay off when I’m done with this schooling. My friends at home don’t understand my doubts. They call me brave, and many have commended me for really following my dreams, no matter how unconventional my manner of doing so. My parents told me not to expect them to come to too many performances because they dislike classical music and it's quite a drive, but I know that they are supporting me in other ways. Students here are always complimenting me, even though most of them are just as talented. Professor Mason recently informed me that a full-tuition scholarship will likely be included in my financial aid package next year, and he has been so encouraging about my future that it’s hard to know if he’s being serious. My month here has been amazing.

Despite all of that encouragement, I’m overly critical of myself. Too critical. But I use the criticism to improve. I appreciate suggestions and love hearing the opinions of my peers. I know that I still have a lot to learn, and want to absorb as much information as I can while I’m here. One of my favorite things to do is to watch and listen to my peers perform, because so much can be learned about repertoire, technique, and performing. I am always amazed at the level of talent of the people here, and I am thankful to be included in this group of excellent performers.
It’s been an adjustment, going from knowing nothing about music to trying to learn as much as I can in a short period of time. I oftentimes feel behind in my musical knowledge compared to my younger classmates, but I’m a good student and music is something that I’m passionate about, so it’s easy for me to put in the necessary effort. I find myself building chords in my head before I go to bed at night and analyzing intervals in music I hear on the radio, so I guess I am learning. Hope fully what I’m learning will help me to be successful in my career.

I’m taking this education one step at a time, with small goals along the way. I hope to be accepted into summer programs both here and abroad. Eventually, I hope to be accepted into a young artist program, like that at the San Francisco Opera, and then to be famous. Isn’t that what we all hope for?
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And Professor Grape's comments:

"Raissa –

Thank you for sharing your story. There really is very little that is wasted in life. Your four years and your psychology degree may at some point come back to help you in ways you never imagined. Life is often like that. And if your experience now leads you to a brilliant singing career, that is great – and if it leads you somewhere else, that will be okay too. Enjoy the time you are here and the experiences you have here. Being at a university offers you so many fulfulling things, both as a performer and as an audience member. It sounds like you are off to a good start, and that it is no accident that you are here. I look forward to hearing you sing sometime in the near future."